Monday madness

This scene look familiar? It's TOO familiar for me!!!! In June I was approaching a level crossing while the barriers were up and I decided it was safe to go through. It wasn't. As I started going through the crossing the barriers started coming down - I could have wet myself I was that scared!!! I mashed my foot as far down as the accelerator would go and made it through the barriers - sigh of relief I was alive. As I then turned the corner, I was greeted by a bank of police officers who where raining in all the level crossing violators. The police officer who was at the level crossing came high-tailing it to where I was stopped and got in my face. "I'm PC blah blah blah, Do you know why you were stopped? Do you know how stupid that stunt was you pulled? Would you like me to arrest you and take you down to the station? Do you know I can do you for dangerous driving and take your license off you?" I had started to answer one of his questions, but got the distinct impression that the questions were rhetorical, so I just listened (as respectfully as possible). Off goes the angry policeman and my details are taken by some trainee policemen. Nothing like a training operation to be stopped by. Before I left I asked what would happen and was told I'd get a court summons with the offense. I should expect 6 points on my drivers license* and a hefty fine.
Roll forward to two weeks ago, I finally get something through the post summoning me to court in two weeks (today). I spoke to a solicitor and the legal advise team at the court house. I'm not able to afford the legal fees of a solicitor , and I was told that I shouldn't need one - 95% of traffic cases won't have solicitors and the ones that do generally are facing a suspension of their license. I also spoke to a friend who's just completed her law degree and she had some good thoughts on my situation. Until Sunday night, I was not really phased by going to court. Sunday night the anxiety started which grew into fear which grew into knots in my stomach. I knew that my trepidation / fear / anxiety was not justified - the WORST that could have happened was that my license got taken off me. I CAN live without a license. I know this. It WOULD be irritating, but I'd manage. I woke up feeling sick. I can't remember EVER feeling this way. I was OVERLY emotional. Finally 10 minutes before I was due to go into court I broke - proper inconsolable crying. I was so irritated. I went into the loo and tried to pull myself together. Red nosed, puffy eyed, I went into court. I managed to get half way through the proceedings when I started to cry. I KNOW this couldn't have helped (how many people do they have come into court and sob for sympathy - crocodile tears!). I ended up with a hefty fine of £350 (approx $675) and 3 points on my license. Not bad considering what I feared. But still really hurts!!! Boy have I learned my lesson!
Silver lining: at least my "stunt" didn't have any fatal accidents and no-one got hurt. Lesson learned.

*at 12 points your license is suspended for a year. A normal speeding fine is £60 and 3 points on your license. Points stay on your license for around 3 or4 years.